Saturday, October 13, 2007

Nanny Square, Squared

The correspondence continues!

Yes i got your email DeAnne Smith it is pleasure to me , meanwhile i will need your payment information cos the payment will be sent to you via Money order which i urge your regard to write me back with the payment details .. Full name , contact address, phone number , minf you my child will be available from 2pm to 8pm bcos she do go school so after school you are to take care of Her .. if i can sake can you take care of her weekend ?
kindly email me back .. once again am delighted in your service .

Hey, Ben read enough of my email to use my full name, which inspires trust. I mean, if he can sake, maybe I can take care of her weekend. Let's see how far Ben wants to go with this thing.

DEAR CURZZY BEN 2 P.M TO 8 PM CHILD AVAILABLE GOOD COS AFTER SCHOOL CARE KIDNLY. I DNOT HAVE PHONE NUMBER AT THIS TIME! MY PAROLE OFFICER INTERCEPT ALL CALL-- DIFFICULT TO TALK PRIVATE! PLEASE BRING BABY TO NANNY SQUARE THURDSAY 2 P.M. WILL WAIT ARRIVAL. IN REGARD TO NANNY CARE PAYMENT WE CAN DISCUSS TOMORROW. I ACCEPT CASH, CHECK, MONEY ORDER AND MARIJUANNA (ONLY HYDROPHONIC GROWN). THANKS YOU LOOK FORWARD TO MEET MY NEWEST NANNY SQUARE FAMILY MEMBER! SOME QUESTIONS BEFORE BABY ARRIVAL:

-DOES BABY HAS SPECIAL ALLERGIC NEEDS?

-DOES BABY NAPTIME PLAY QUIET? (3-5 P.M. FOR WATCHING DR PHIL ETC..)

-ON WEEKEND, DOES BABY NEED BED SATURDAY NIGHT OR IN CAR BACKSEAT OKAY FOR DANCING AND FUN TIME FOR NANNY?

THANK YOU KINDLY REGARD!

You'd think Ben would get the hint. You'd be wrong. Perhaps you're the kind of person who also thinks skinny men in fitted, black jeans look "cool" and "emo" as opposed to "ill" and "chickeny." You're all kinds of wrong. Here's more from Ben:

Good ... am so delighted in caring for my child .. email me back with your payment details cos the payment will be sent via Money order so i urge your regard to email me back with your full name , contact address, phone number so i can proceed and let you know when my child will arrive .

GREAT! PAYMENT DETAILS UNAVAIBLE NOW...AM LIVING WITH SISTER'S BOYFRIENDS MOM NO POSTAL CODE!! WAITED ARRIVAL THURSDAY FOR BABY. WHAT HAPPENED? OH WELL, IS PROBABLY GOOD BCOS SISTER'S BOYFRIENDS MOM VERY DRUNK VERY ANGRY ON THURSDAY DIFFICULT TO HAVE QUIET NAP TIME OR PLAY NICE TMIE FOR BABY. DO BABY HAVE PROBLEM FOR LOUD SHOUTING? OR THROWING LAMPS ON OCCASSION? DO BABY HAVE GOOD REFLECTS? CAN BABY ACT INVISIBLE? THINKING NOW ALL IS IMPORTANT BABY SKILLS FOR NEW NANNY SQUARE. LET ME KNOW. ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU FINE!!

P.S. FOUND (STOLE) SELL PHONE. DO CALL FOR MORE DETAILS. 514.67.3298...

Will Ben Call? Will I finally break down and give up my payment details? What makes sister's boyfriend's mom so angry? Stayed tuned for the next installment of Nanny Square!

3 comments:

kate said...

I am wanting my sell phone back, urge your regard to send it back to payment address.

will trade for marijuana grown hydrophonic.

Anonymous said...

I love it. It's just like watching Slice....

Shane said...

haha, Nigerian 411 scams, gotta love them.