Monday, June 23, 2008

It is my gladness to moreso Now introduce the kind and honest Rev Johnny Bradley!

Total score.

That's how I feel upon finding pieces of bubble wrap to gleefully pop (seriously, how good is that?), upon finding gluten-free sweet treats to gleefully shove down my gullet (shout out to my Crohn's-inflicted brethren), and, of course, upon finding scam emails in my inbox to which I can gleefully respond (see the Nanny Square entries).

So, I've been looking for apartments on Craigslist. That's pretty much all you need to know to enjoy this most recent exchange. You probably don't need to know that I've also been trolling the personals section, shocked, amazed and I must admit intrigued by people who describe the woman they're looking for as "having little to no gag reflex" and then go on to say, " I am fireman, and you could do much worse ladies, I can promise you that!" Well, hello, dreamboat.

But back on track. I responded to an apartment listing that sounded a little too good to be true. Sadly, when things sound too good to be true, they usually are. (What? Someone who's looking for a person with little to no gag reflex? That's totally me! I'm totally gonna respon....oh, wait. He's a fireman. Sigh. I can't stand the thought of such a wonderful, special, and eloquent someone who I would no doubt totally fall for endangering his life like that! I just can't risk getting hurt. Not again. Not this time. I knew it was too good to be true! No, no, don't mind me. My absent gag reflex and I will just be crouching in this darkened corner for a while, weeping.)

Here's what I sent the guy:

Hi,

I'm really interested in your apartment for rent and I'd like to see it as soon as possible. Are you available to show it on Sunday, June 22?

Thanks,
DeAnne

[And then my phone number. Which I flatter myself to think would be unwise to reproduce here, with so many readers gazing at this space expectantly, waiting for any opportunity to gain access into my thrilling private life. Have I mentioned that I troll personal ads for kicks? Well, hello, dreamboat.]

Here's what I received, about 24 hours later:

Thanks for your email and it is my gladness to hearing from you.My name is Rev Johnny Bradley the owner of the house you are making enquiry of...Actually I resided in the house with my family,such as my wife and my only daugther before and presently we had packed due to my transfer from my working place and now situated in united states and presently my house is still available for rent including the utilities like hydro/heat drywasher and security and bills,Everything in the flat is well fully furnised.

Moreso Now,I went for a crusade in West Africa and i will like you to get in touch with my wife in united states for more discussion as She is with the keys and the document to the flat.Pls i want you to note that,I am a kind and honest man and also i spent alot on my property that i want to give you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute mentenance of this house and want you to treat it as your own,is that taken,it is not the money the main problem but want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i came for a check up.i do that once in a while.I also want you to let me have trust in you as I always stand on my word.

Send my wife Joy an Immediate message, on ( joy.derrick1@gmail.com )and she will attends to you better on how to proceed

Thanks and you are welcome
Regards
Johnny Bradley

Total score! I love it all, from the alliteration of "Johnny and Joy" to the way he seems to be having a level one, English-as-a-second-language conversation with himself in "Thanks and you are welcome" to the fact that he so casually sneaks in: "...when i came for a check up.i do that once in a while.I also..." Pardon me? You do that once in a while? Oh, okay. I guess it's no big deal, since you didn't include any spaces around that sentence. I look forward to your visits, then. In fact, when you came for a check up, I'll probably greet you with a, "Well, hello, dreamboat."

I'm hoping to keep this correspondence going for a while. Note my expert ability to overlook his instructions to write to Joy Derrick, in the hopes that he'll feel compelled to write back:

Thanks you Rev Johnny for your quick and thoughtful responds to my inquiry. I am pleased gladly to know the drywasher is included in the flat fully furnised and that bills are included.

I curiously inquire your crusade at West Africa. Do you carry a swords? What is the name of your horse? Pls more details to me from Africa crusade, my interest is great. Anywayso good luck to you. Victory to conquest pagans!

I see trust fully you are a kind and honest man. I also want you to kind note that, i, take property for rent to treat as my own for my absolute mentenance. i am a very tidy and neat person.i always stand on my word, too. have trust in me Rev. Johnny.

how can we proceed for keys and property agreement? pls let me know I am very eager to move into flat take care properly.

You are welcome,
DeAnne

Will Rev Johnny respond? How's progress on the West African crusade? What the heck is a drywasher? Answers in the next installment of "It is my gladness!" (*fingers crossed*)

26 comments:

prinzrulz said...

Hey wrote to Mrs. Joy Bradley already and got her response as well:

Hi Yogesh ,

Thanks for the email and also yes,My husband in respect of Rev Johnny Bradley who owned the place and also it is situated In 3450 Drummond ,Montréal,QC H3G 1Y1 Canada and also want you to know that it was due to my husband transfer that makes us to leave the place and also want to give it out for rent and looking for a responsible person that can take very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean at the time and the person which is reliable and responsible that will rent it to take it as if it were its own.So for now,Am here in United States right now in our new flat and also with the keys/document of the flat we are willing to rent to you.

We try to look for an agent that we can give this document before we left but could not see and we are as well as don't want our flat to be used any how in our present that is why we took it along to us here and as you know that,my husband over in the West Africa for a Mission of God,so I hope you will promise us to take very good care of the home.So get back to me on how you could take care of our home or perhaps experience you have in renting home.

Hope you are okay with the price of $622 Per Month for the place with hydro,heat laundry facilities,air condition, internet connection and so on 750 Square Feet, I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible so that i can forward you an application to fill out and discuss on how to get the flat for rent,also are you ready to rent it now or when?you can view our flat picture at the attach file as you can see the pictures of the place are beautiful that is why we need a maintenance and up keep of our flat.

Thanks so much
Joy Bradley.

------------------------------------

You sure its a scam De Anne?

prinzrulz said...

And I even got a pic of Joy and their daughter!

:)

DeAnne said...

Pretty darn sure it's a scam, Prince. Keep us posted!

DeAnne said...

Actually, I want a picture of Joy and their only daugther! I wrote 'er, too. We'll see how she responds.

Anonymous said...

Hi there...
I'm seeming to think that this is a scam as well... as a few months back I was looking at another apartment... with the SAME story...just different names, and also another "REV" it's at if it sounds like he's more honest or has better credentials declaring himself a "REV"... I'm interested to get a response... as my response from the wife of the last apartment I enquired about was EXACTLY the same as the response that Prince got... I am not pretty confident in declarring this a scam.

Anonymous said...

I've gotten the same e-mail, word for word, waiting on her response....will check back

prinzrulz said...

And till now there is not a word about seeing the place in person.

She has sent some 5 pics of the apartment. Apartment key and all the papers are in the US with Mrs. Joy Bradley. And She's soon gonnu forward the application by email.

So let us see the next development in the story.

I thought its funny when i read their mails. They way they introduced themselves. I thought this is the language of the Rev's who go on crusades.

Lolz...

DeAnne said...

Hey, she didn't write ME back at all! Could it have been because of the tone of mockery in my message to her?

Regards Mrs. Derrick,

Your husband the honest Rev Johnny solicit I send you Immediate message for interest in flat.

I am very interested in rent and take care of your flat. How can we proceed?

Thank you regards,
DeAnne

prinzrulz said...

So sad DeAnne...

Probably she figured out u r smart.

:)

I got another mail. Its fun. And jus look at the question (Deposit 1 month or two). But u cant go into the apt and wont be shown before u agree.

Read her mail anyway...

Hi Yogesh ,

Good hearing from you that you are promising us that our flat will be well taken care off,and I really appreciate your expression.So,Like I told you there's none of my friends or relatives to show you the apartment..I want you to stick to your words.Is that okay with you?And the below is the final question that you must answer to qualify for the rent.

Hope you have a nice working day,Infact i will like to meet you when coming to visit you soonest.We do a long term and short term renting anytime you which to leave the place will be greatful and we are ready to rent a long-term for 2 years lease or more.

Note that you will are not allowed to enter the flat,because the keys/document is here with me in new jersey.
*********RENT APPLICATION FORM*******
(Private & Confidential)

Also,Pls let me get this answer.
1)Your Full Name

2)Present Full Address(where you reside now) & Phone Number to Reach You

3)Age

4)Are you married?

5)Sex

6)How many people will be living in the house?

7)Do you have a pet?

8)Do you have a car?

9)What is your religion?

10)Occupation?

11) How Many Month Deposit ??? 1 or 2

12) When are you ready to Move In ?

13) When are u planning to leave the flat ?

Looking forward to hear from you with all this details for approval so that i can have it in my file incase of issuing the receipt in your name and contacting you.Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the documents and the keys to you,Please we are giving you all this transaction is based on Trust & Honesty and again I want you to stick to your words,We are putting everything into Gods hand,so please do not let us down in this property of ours and God bless you more as you do this.

Thanks so much and have a nice day.

Joy.

DeAnne said...

she DID write me! but it's late and i'll have to wait 'til tomorrow to blog it. ooo, it's ON.

prinzrulz said...

I'm eager to know what Mrs. Joy wrote to u!

:)

Anonymous said...

got some emails from them as well, but even with a different address of the apartment and a slightly different names. oh and the picture "me and my daugther" i received as well: she is called "Bradley" and he "Bradsley" - wow!

---

Thanks for your email and it is my gladness to hearing from you.My name is Rev Bendtner Bradsley the owner of the house you are making enquiry of...Actually I resided in the house with my family,such as my wife and my only daugther before and presently we had packed due to my transfer from my working place and now situated in united states and presently my house is still available for rent including the utilities like hydro/heat drywasher and security and bills,Everything in the flat is well fully furnised.

Moreso Now,I went for a crusade in West Africa and i will like you to get in touch with my wife in united states for more discussion as She is with the keys and the document to the flat.Pls i want you to note that,I am a kind and honest man and also i spent alot on my property that i want to give you for rent,so i will solicit for your absolute mentenance of this house and want you to treat it as your own,is that taken,it is not the money the main problem but want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i came for a check up.i do that once in a while.I also want you to let me have trust in you as I always stand on my word.

Send my wife Joy an Immediate message, on ( joy.derrick1@gmail.com )and she will attends to you better on how to proceed

Thanks and you are welcome
Regards
Bendtner Bradsley

---

Hi ,

Thanks for the email and also yes,My husband in respect of Rev Bendtner Bradley who owned the place and also it is situated In 342 Avenue Road , Toronto, ON M4V 2H3 and also want you to know that it was due to my husband transfer that makes us to leave the place and also want to give it out for rent and looking for a responsible person that can take very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean at the time and the person which is reliable and responsible that will rent it to take it as if it were its own.So for now,Am here in United States right now in our new flat and also with the keys/document of the flat we are willing to rent to you.

We try to look for an agent that we can give this document before we left but could not see and we are as well as don't want our flat to be used any how in our present that is why we took it along to us here and as you know that,my husband over in the West Africa for a Mission of God,so I hope you will promise us to take very good care of the home.So get back to me on how you could take care of our home or perhaps experience you have in renting home.

Hope you are okay with the price of $599 Per Month for the place with hydro,heat laundry facilities,air condition, internet connection and so on 750 Square Feet, I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible so that i can forward you an application to fill out and discuss on how to get the flat for rent,also are you ready to rent it now or when?you can view our flat picture at the attach file as you can see the pictures of the place are beautiful that is why we need a maintenance and up keep of our flat.

Thanks so much
Joy Bradley.

---

Hi ,


Good hearing from you that you are promising us that our flat will be well taken care off,and I really appreciate your expression.So,Like I told you there's none of my friends or relatives to show you the apartment..I want you to stick to your words.Is that okay with you?And the below is the final question that you must answer to qualify for the rent.

Hope you have a nice working day,Infact i will like to meet you when coming to visit you soonest.We do a long term and short term renting anytime you which to leave the place will be greatful and we are ready to rent a long-term for 2 years lease or more.
Note that you will are not allowed to enter the flat,because the keys/document is here with me in new jersey.

*********RENT APPLICATION FORM*******
(Private & Confidential)
Also,Pls let me get this answer.
1)Your Full Name

2)Present Full Address(where you reside now) & Phone Number to Reach You

3)Age

4)Are you married?

5)Sex

6)How many people will be living in the house?

7)Do you have a pet?

8)Do you have a car?

9)What is your religion?

10)Occupation?

11) How Many Month Deposit ??? 1 or 2

12) When are you ready to Move In ?

13) When are u planning to leave the flat ?


Looking forward to hear from you with all this details for approval so that i can have it in my file incase of issuing the receipt in your name and contacting you.Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the documents and the keys to you,Please we are giving you all this transaction is based on Trust & Honesty and again I want you to stick to your words,We are putting everything into Gods hand,so please do not let us down in this property of ours and God bless you more as you do this.

Thanks so much and have a nice day.

Joy.

Anonymous said...

Oh my god. I'm so glad someone else has experienced the horrors of Reverend Bradley.
I've been corresponding with "Joy" over the past few weeks and its all the same stuff that has been posted here... Except at first Reverend was named "Matthew Bradley" then in a later email she called him "Bendtner Bradley"
wut.
This is such a scam.

prinzrulz said...

My luck.

When I started talking to Joy. I thought of knowing more about Rev Johnny Bradly, curious about his 'Crusade' n stuff.

The first day I hit a trust in name of John Bradley running an orphanage in India and I wanted to know more.

The second day the search turned out this Blog and its fun everyday. I wish I had persued writing to Mrs. Joy Bradley. I am not as creative as DeAnne...

My applauds to her!

The Quirked Eyebrow said...

They would be almost funny if they weren't such corrupted ripoff artists ~ come and meet a ton more of 'em at http://chicaneryconsscams.blogspot.com.

If you run into any more of their ilk, I wouldn't mind hearing about them.

Be careful out there!

prinzrulz said...

In this blog http://chicaneryconsscams.blogspot.com there is a list of Canadian craigslist rental scammers in alphabetical order.

Sad! Mrs. Joy and Rev. Johnny Bradley are yet to get their email ids on to the list. How sad they'll be after all their efforts - posting an ad, responding to mails, forgive us all (as Johnny is a true Christian, who goes on crusades and knows Lord forgives us all and forgives even if we have a dog who is not trained once a while in the apt or even if we write in place where we have to fill the sex some sinful stuff).

Lolz

tiffany said...

The same thing happend to me! but of course a different name. and the "wife" said,And the below is the final question that you must answer to qualify for the rent of my house?,Moreso,Hope you have a nice working day,infact i will like to meet both of you when coming to visit you soonest.
Thank god im not religious so i googled the question and your blog popped up although i figured it was a i thought i would play along for a while. but when i found this i thought i would inform every on out there this is what was said.. almost word 4 word of all of the other ones:

It is my gladness to hearing from you.I am Rev Harrison Badams,i am the owner of the apartment you are making enquiry of.Actually I have resided in the house with my family,such as my wife and my daugthers and my little son before and presently we had moved out due to my transfer from my working place and now situated in New Jersey and presently my house is still available for rent for $800 including the utilities like hydro,washer and security,and the security deposit is the first month rent deposit payment which is $800 have to be made to me before the keys and the documents of the apartment is going to ship to you and it is furnised.Moreso Now i am on a Christian Mission Crusade in taking place in West Africa and i will like you to get in touch with my wife for more discussion. She is with the keys and the document to the house.Pls i want you to note that,i am a Good Christian and clergy and honest man and i spent alot on my property that i want to give you for rent,so i will solict for your absolute maintainance of this house and want you to treat it as your own,is that taken,it is not the money the main problem to me but want you to keep it tidy all the time so that i will be glad to see it neat when i come for a check up.i will do that once in a while.I also want you to let me have trust in you as i always stand on my word.Email my wife Sara Badams,on ( sarabadams67@gmail.com ) and she will attends to you better.
Thanks and you are welcome
Rev Harrison Badams.

Thanks for the email,My name is Sara Badams and my husband in respect of Rev Harrison Badams owned of the house and it is situated at 1633 Marina Ct San Mateo, CA 94403. and also i want you to know that it was due to my husband transfer that makes us to leave the house and also want to give it out for rent a looking for a resposible person that can take very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean at the time and the person that will rent it to take it as if it were its own.So for now,Am here in the State,New Jersey our new house and also with the keys of the house,we try to look for an agent that we can give this document before we left but could not see and we are as well as dont wnt our house to be used any how in our present that is why we took it along to us here and as you know that,my husband over in the West africa for a mission of God,so i hope you will promise us to take very good care of the house.So get back to me on how you could take care of our house or perhaps experience you have in renting home.Hope you are okay with the price of $800 with hydro,heat laundry facilities,air condition and so on.i look forward to hearing from you ASAP so that i can forward you a application to fill out and discuss on how to get the house for rent,also are you ready to rent it now or when? . View attached file for apartment pictures.


MORE DETAILS


The accomodation comprises; entrance hall/landing (21'1x5'10), reception room (17'0x16'0), kitchen breakfast room (13x11), bedroom 1 (12'10x10'5), bathroom and separate WC on the first floor.


FURNISHED
PERIOD PROPERTY
SPACIOUS AND LIGHT
KITCHEN BREAKFAST ROOM
POPULAR AREA
1 BEDROOM
GOOD TRANSPORT LINKS


Landing 22'1" x 5'10" ( 6.73m x 1.78m )
Reception room 17'0" x 16'0" ( 5.18m x 4.88m )
Kitchen 13'0" x 11'0" ( 3.96m x 3.35m )
Bathroom 6'10" x 5'10" ( 2.08m x 1.78m )
Guest WC 5'0" x 2'10" ( 1.52m x 0.86m )


Await your reply.

Thanks and God Bless

Good hearing from you that you are promising us that our house will be well taken care off,and i appreciate your expression,So i want you to stick to your words.Is that okay with you?And the below is the final question that you must answer to qualify for the rent of my house?,Moreso,Hope you have a nice working day,infact i will like to meet both of you when coming to visit you soonest.

RENT APPLICATION FORM
Also,Pls let me get this answer.
1)Your Full Name
2)Your Full Address & Phone Number
3)How old are you?
4)Are you married?
5)How many people will be living in the house?
6)Do you have a pet?
7)Do you have a car?
8)Occupation?
9)What is your religion?
10)Are you born again?

11)How Many Months you are renting

12)1 or 2 Month Rent Payment have to be Deposit as a security deposit before the keys and the documents of the apartment is going to send to you Via DHL.


Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can have it in my file incase of issuing the receipt in your name and contacting you.Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the documents and the keys to you,please we are giving you all this based on trust and again i want you to stick to your words,We are putting everything into Gods hand,so please do not let us down in this property of ours and God bless you more as you do this.


Thanks and God Bless

DeAnne said...

hilarious! i'm going to send a smiling kitten to sarabadams67@gmail.com.

Unknown said...

I too was involved with these scammers and becaus I didn't know what the Morese or what ever word meant i decided to google it as well and this blog showed up. I am so relieved I trusted my insites anyways here is what has been going on...
Hi Ms. Salvador,

I was given your email by your husband Rev McQueen. I found the posting of the 2 bed/2 bath luxurous condo on craigslist.com. I was wondering if it would be possible to tour the unit today or tomorrow after 5pm. If so what would be a good time to meet there? I am a very neat person and I will maintain your condo very well. It would be a huge blessing for my boyfriend to rent out your condo. We're on a strict budget and your unit is the perfect price. Please get back to me as soon as you can.

Thank you so very much. Have a wonderful and blessing day.

Best regards,

Jessica
Deborah Salvador to me
show details 11:52 AM (21 hours ago) Reply


Thanks for the email and also Yes, my husband in respect of Rev McQueen LaTisha owned the house and also it is situated In 1550 Technology Dr San Jose, CA 95110 and also want you to know that it was due to my husband transfer that makes us to leave the house and also want to give it out for rent and looking for a resposible person that can take very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean at the time and the person that will rent it to take it as if it were its own.So for now,Am here in the Quebec Canada in our new house and also with the keys of the house,we try to look for an agent that we can give this document before we left but could not see and we are as well as dont wnt our house to be used any how in our present that is why we toook it along to us here and as you know that,my husband over in the West africa for a mission of God,so i hope you will promise us to take very good care of the house.So get back to me on how you could take care of our house or perhaps experience you have in entiong home.Hope you are okay with the price of $1010 per month with hydro,heat laundry facilities,air condition, internet connection and so on. i look forward to hearing from you ASAP so that i can forward you an application to fill out and discuss on how to get the house for rent,also are you ready to rent it now or when?View more pictures at the attach file.
Best Regards.

Hi again,
I understand that you are looking for very responsible renters and my boyfriend and I are very responsible hard workers and would like the opportunity to proove it to you. We have been living and renting apartments together for almost two years now and left and will be leaving on good standing. I make sure to give the apartment a nice good cleaning where I do everything from top to bottom once a week or at most every other week, especially if we know someone is coming over. I never like to present a dirty house to anyone, weither it's friends or even family, to me that is just not being a good hostess and I feel like I'm not doing my job as a girlfriend. I don't know how else to proove to you that we are good responsible renters except to offer references from our previous apartment managers. If you give us the opportunity we will treat your beautiful home as if it were our own, and take care of it like we never have before. I do however, need some advice on how to keep your beautful hard floors clean and beautiful, I don't want to take any chances with them. I have mostly dealt with carpets and have very little experience with your type. Is it real hard wood, bamboo, or laminate? Whatever it is, it looks gorgous.

I would also like you to get to know my boyfriend and I and I am hoping that we can meet either this evening or tomorrow evening sometime after 5 so that we may see the unit and really get to know who you are. I want to make sure that we can both trust one another.

Can you please let me know if this is possible also feel free to send the application to me and I'll fill it out and have it ready when we do meet up.

Thank you so much for this opportunity and blessing, you have no idea how much this could help my boyfriend and I. We really hope this works out for you and I the best way it can.

Best regards,

Jessica

Good hearing from you that you are promising us that our apartment will be well taken care off,and i appreciate your expression.So, i want you to stick to your words.Is that okay with you?And the below is the final question that you must answer to qualify for the rent of my flat.The price $1010 including the hydro,heat laundry facilities,air condition, internet connection,water and so on.

Landing 22'1" x 5'10" ( 6.73m x 1.78m )
Reception room 17'0" x 16'0" ( 5.18m x 4.88m )
Kitchen 13'0" x 11'0" ( 3.96m x 3.35m )
Bedroom 12'10" x 10'5" ( 3.91m x 3.18m )
Bathroom 6'10" x 5'10" ( 2.08m x 1.78m )
Guest WC 5'0" x 2'10" ( 1.52m x 0.86m )
RENT APPLICATION FORM
Also,Pls let me get this answer.
1)Your Full Name
2)Present Address(where you reside now) & Phone Number
3)How old are you?
4)Are you married?
5)How many people will be living in the house?
6)Do you have a pet?
7)Do you have a car?
8)Occupation?
9)What is your religion?
10)Are you born again?
11)1 month Or 2 month deposite needed
(12) When are you Moving in?
Looking forward to hear from you with all this details so that i can have it in my file incase of issuing the receipt in your name and contacting you.Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the documents and the keys to you,please we are giving you allthis based on trust and again i want you to stick to your words,We are putting everything into Gods hand,so please do not let us down in this property of ours and God bless you more as you do this.
Regards..

I'm sorry but I am no longer interested in your condo. You did not answer any of the questions I asked and I am not trusting you at all. Please stop emailing me. Sorry for getting your hopes up.

She even sent about nine pictures...this chick is good...NOT! I knew my intuitions were right. People be careful out there, follow your intuitions and don't let someone ask you more than they really need to know. AND IF IT SOUNDS TO GOOD TO BE TRUE IT IS!!!!

The Quirked Eyebrow said...

Okay, Prince ~ Rev. Johnny, his multiple personalities and his lovely alliterative spouse, Joy, can now be found at chicaneryconsscams.blogspot.com.

Always pleased to be of service. :)

Anonymous said...

Well, whattya know! I was almost a victim. Here's my story:

From: Ken my@emailaddress.com
To: tanya.martinez86@yahoo.com
Subject: Craig's List ($1500 / 3br - Lovely 3 bedrooms/2.5 baths Home for
rent (milpitas))
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:20:48 -0800

Hi Tanya,

I'm extremely interested in the home you have for rent on Craig's List.
I do have one question, though.

1. What else will I have to pay for in addition to the rent? (gas,
water, electric, garbage?)

2. How much will it cost to move in? (first month & deposit? last month
and deposit?)

3. Is the house fully paid for?... and are you the owner?

The reason I'm asking the last question is because I'm currently renting
a place for the same price in San Jose. The place is GREAT and I don't
want to move... but my landlord is going through foreclosure. This
leaves me in a very bad situation with having to find another place to
live now. :-(

Thank you for your time and I eagerly await your reply. You can call
me, if you wish.

Best regards,
Ken
[my phone# here]



From: Sherry Martinez tanya.martinez86@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Craig's List ($1500 / 3br - Lovely 3 bedrooms/2.5 baths Home for
rent (milpitas))
To: my@emailaddress.com
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:52:55 -0800 (PST)

Yes the Home is it available. It is located at #1450 N Hillview Dr Milpitas,
CA 95035.
Kindly let me know if the location is okay with you so that i can give
you more details and description of the Home with more pictures.

Thanks


NOTE: Tanya or Sherry? I'm guessing her first name is Tanya and middle name must be Sherry and she likes to be called by her middle name... or something of that nature.

What? No replies to my questions? And what's this, "Yes the home is it available"? What? You tell me! I didn't even ask that!

I also noticed that the address had some strange dashed underlining to it and hovering my mouse arrow over it would give me a hand icon instead of an arrow, as if it were a link, but clicking on it did nothing (I use FireFox with NoScript, so I wear my cybercondom when browsing) nor did the message source reveal a link.

I look-up the address on Google Maps. Street View shows the same house as what's shown in the Craig's List ad, but the picture is at a different angle, so this is appearing to be somewhat legit. I also notice that it's right next to the 680 freeway and I'm concerned about the noise from it. I reply...


From: Ken my@emailaddress.com
To: tanya.martinez86@yahoo.com
Subject: Craig's List ($1500 / 3br - Lovely 3 bedrooms/2.5 baths Home for
rent (milpitas))
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:05:11 -0800

Hi Sherry,

Google Maps Street View of the area looks incredibly nice! Being at the
end of a court, I suspect that there's not much traffic that goes by on
the street-side. I'm very interested, but have some additional questions:

3. It appears that the back yard would be right next to 680. Is there a
lot of freeway noise? Is there a sound barrier there to prevent the noise?

I'm still extremely interested in it. Can you please provide the
pictures, details and descriptions? Thank you very much!

Best regards,
Ken
[my phone# here]


NOTE: I added my additional question as #3, to kindly reminder "Sherry" that there are previous questions unanswered.


From: Sherry Martinez tanya.martinez86@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Craig's List ($1500 / 3br - Lovely 3 bedrooms/2.5 baths Home for
rent (milpitas))
To: my@emailaddress.com
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2009 19:16:01 -0800 (PST)

Thanks for your email and it is my pleasure hearing from you. I am the
owner of the house you are making inquiry of. Actually I resided in the
house with my family my Husband and my only daughter,And presently we
had packed due to my transfer from my working place, am now situated
in=A0 Louisville ,Kentucky.I want you to know that it was due to my
transfer that made
us to leave the house and also want to give it out for rent and we are
looking for a responsible person that can take very good care of it as
we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean at all
time, and the person which is reliable and responsible that will rent
it to take it as if it were their own.Am here in=A0 Louisville ,Kentucky
here right now in our new house and also with the keys/document of the
house we are willing to rent out to you.We tried to look for an agent
that we could give this document before we left but could not find any
as a matter of urgency.And we as well don't want our home misused in
our absence that is why we took it along with us.So i hope you will
promise us to take very good care of the house.Get back to me on how
you would take care of our home or perhaps experiences you have in
renting home.

Hope you are okay with the price of $1,500/month=A0 for the place with
hydro,heat laundry facilities,air condition, internet connection. I
look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible so that i can
forward you an application to fill out and discuss on how to get the
home for rent,also are you ready to rent it now or when?you can view
our room picture at the attach file as you can see the pictures of the
place are beautiful that is why we need a maintenance and up keep of
our home. Thank you

[amazing and immaculate pictures of the interior of her home here.
The place looks brand new!]


NOTE: From the spelling errors, no spaces after the end of sentences, and grammar errors, this is beginning to smell like the ol' Nigerian scam. I'm still unsure, so I reply...


From: Ken my@emailaddress.com
To: tanya.martinez86@yahoo.com
Subject: Craig's List ($1500 / 3br - Lovely 3 bedrooms/2.5 baths Home for
rent (milpitas))
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2009 20:54:43 -0800

I'm totally lost for words. Your home is lavish, and I can see why you
want it taken care of. I'm sorry to hear about your relocation to
Kentucky. I'm sure you're already missing your beautiful home.

With a home that's so immaculate, I feel it would be a disgrace to do
anything that is unclean in it. From the hardwood floors, white
cabinets and stain-free white carpeting, if you were to accept me as a
tenant in your home, you have my word on the following:

[details here about how I will upkeep her home]

The fireplace is nice and will be seldom used, but it will be kept clean
and tidy. I like to do spring cleaning once per year as well. I blame
my mom for making me into a clean freak. :-) I also have renters
insurance through State Farm. If you like, I can send you information
on what it covers, and possibly extend it to include other items if you
deem it be necessary.

I would like to tell you a little bit about myself so that you know more
of the person that you're potentially allowing to live in your home.
[details about myself here, including age, ethnicity, being single with
no children, job, income, and hobbies]You can view my LinkedIn profile at:

[my LinkedIn profile URL here]

I've always pay my rent on time or early. The place I'm in now is the
first place I've lived in on my own, and I hope this doesn't put a sour
taste in your mouth in regards to my interest and your decision. In the
past, I've always lived with a roommate or family member. However, I
felt it was time for me to live on my own and by myself. I'm content
with that and enjoy my peace, the quietness, and the privacy. I love
the place I'm at now and wouldn't be moving out if my landlord wasn't
going through a foreclosure. This is why I'm looking for a place that
is already owned. I'm looking for a place to settle down, but not quite
ready to buy a home of my own yet.

There's one other question that I forgot about. Is there broadband
Internet services available to that home? Due to my line of work,
that's a very important thing I must have.

I swear, your interior looks brand new! It reminds me of the times when
my Dad was in the military and we would have to move every 3 years.
The Army has very strict rules about how clean the place should be when
we moved out. They practically went through the place with a white
glove inspection and we had to ensure that it would pass. Please excuse
me while I drool over the pictures for a little while. I might have to
purchase a clean room bunny suit if you accept me. :-)

Please feel free to contact me at any time via phone or e-mail. I truly
appreciate the time you've taken to consider me.

Best regards,
Ken
[my phone# here]


NOTE: I added an additional question.


From: Sherry Martinez tanya.martinez86@yahoo.com
Subject: Re: Craig's List ($1500 / 3br - Lovely 3 bedrooms/2.5 baths Home for
rent (milpitas))
To: my@emailaddress.com
Date: Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:10:25 -0800 (PST)

Good hearing from you that you are promising us that our house will be
well taken care off,and I really appreciate your expression.Like I told
you there's none of my friends or relatives to show you the House.The
House is fully Unfurnished as shown in the pictures i sent.i want you
to stick to your words.Is that okay with you?And the below is the final
question that you must answer to qualify for the rent. I will advise
you to drive by my house but you cant check inside because i have the
keys here with me.Hope you have a nice working day,in fact i will like
to meet you when coming to visit you soonest.We do a long term and
short term renting anytime you wish to leave the place will be greatful
and we are ready to rent a long-term for 2 years lease or more.


*********RENT20APPLICATION FORM********

Also,Pls let me get this answer.

1)Your Full Name

02)Present Full Address(where you reside now) & Phone Number
to Reach You

03)How old are you?

04)Are you married?

05)How many people will be living20in the house?

06)Do you have a pet?

07)Do you have a car?

08)What is your religion?

09)Occupation?

10 ) When are you ready to Move In?

11 ) When are u planning to leave the house?

How many Months Deposit are you willing to pay upfront?$1,500/month
Security deposit fee is $1,500

Amenities

...........................................

# Bedroom :3
# Bathroom : 2.5
# Extra Toilet : 1
# Extra Guest Room: 1
# Sofa Bed :
# Bed Linen

Accommodation Features
....................................................

Wood Floor :
Heater :
Central Heating :
Equiped Kitchen :
Tv: Cable/Satellite
TV:
Video/Stereo:
Internet :
Air Conditioning:
Full Kitchen
Refrigerator:
Kitchen Features

....................... ...........


Washing machine:
Juice Machine :
Iron :
Toaster:
Oven :
Dishwasher :
Coffee Maker :
Microwave :
Refrigerator:
Stove:

Looking
forward to hear from you with all this details for approval so that i
can have it in my file in case of issuing the receipt in your name and
contacting you.Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to
get the documents and the keys to you,Please we are giving you all this
transaction is based on Trust & Honesty and again I want you to
stick to your words,We are putting everything into Gods hand,so please
do not let us down in this property of ours and God bless you more as
you do this


NOTE: "like my expression"? This is smelling more and more like the Nigerian scam. And all of this talk about "trust", "honest", and "God" to make it seem like they're putting so much trust in me, that I should put the same amount of trust in them. HMM!!

Amenities such as "bed linen", sofa bed", "juice maker", "TV/Stereo" etc. in an UNFURNISHED house?

An e-mail based "Rent Application"?

The last question really threw it off... "How many Months Deposit are you willing to pay upfront?$1,500/month
Security deposit fee is $1,500". I'm no lease expert, but I don't think it works on upfront payments other than the deposit plus first or last months rent, then on a month-by-month basis from there on.

I already gave her my age. Why is she asking for it again?

I'm really suspicious now. This person is allegedly in Kentucky which is East Coast time... 3 hours ahead of me. It's now 1am my time and I found it rather odd that "Sherry" was responding to my previous e-mail's at roughly 9pm my time, which would be 12am her time. Midnight owl? I try to bait her with this to see if I get one of those late night replies.


From: Ken my@emailaddress.com
To: tanya.martinez86@yahoo.com
Subject: Craig's List ($1500 / 3br - Lovely 3 bedrooms/2.5 baths Home for
rent (milpitas))
Where will I send my money to? Do you have a phone number where I can
contact you?

Best regards,
Ken


NOTE: It's the following morning now and I've yet to get a reply. I hope I do. I've got quite a lot of answers to her questions to lead her on. This is going to be great. Stay tuned.

Syntax said...

It's on! Here's my reply to their Rent Applicaiton:

Awesome! The answers to your questions are in-line below.

Sherry Martinez wrote:
> *********RENT20APPLICATION FORM********
>
> Also,Pls let me get this answer.
>
> 1)Your Full Name

Ken Teague

> 2)Present Full Address(where you reside now) & Phone Number to Reach You

850 Bryant Street
San Francisco, CA 94103


> 3)How old are you?

89


> 4)Are you married?

No, I had to bury my wife in the back yard years ago


> 5)How many people will be living20in the house?

Me and my 2 children. My eldest son, Johnny Bradley, is age 25 and is a Reverend for our local church and recently came back from a crusade in West Africa. Boy does he have some great experiences to share with me. My other son, Harrison Badams, age 27, is mentally handicap and tends to bunk his head on the wall quite often. We have to put a helmet on him so that he doesn't hurt himself. This has been known to put dents and holes in walls, but I've repaired many of them in the past and the walls look like new once I'm through. I hope the hallways aren't narrow. It really hurts me that they decided to change their last name after I was registered as a sex offender. I wanted it to carry on throughout the generation of our family. I suppose it doesn't really matter, though, as both of them are gay and the only way they'd have children is by adoption.

> 6)Do you have a pet?

I have a very warm and loving dog named Pookie. She's an 8 year old great dane that greets me every day I come home. I thought I was going to have to get rid of her because of how clean your house is, but after seeing this, it appears that pets are OK. That's such a relief because she's also my sexual partner. Ever since that sex offender registration, she's my only mate.


> 7)Do you have a car?

I drive a very reliable Yugo to/from work on a daily basis. It's a fantastic commuter car! Getting it smogged can be a bear, but if I pay the mechanic enough money, they can do little tweaks here and there that'll get it to pass.


> 8)What is your religion?

I'm an Atheist. Even though my children disagree, I find that praising God is sinful to the highest degree. Burn in hell, thou soul shall be, in words spoken by no other man, woman or child! Satan bless your soul!

> 9)Occupation?

I'm semi-retired but have a great amount of income from my retirement, social security, stocks, bonds, and all the money I saved while working. I also pay young teenage boys to solicit the high school girls to come to my house to take pictures. I pay them very well and they seem to like it.


> 10 ) When are you ready to Move In ?

I should be ready to move in within a month. I just need to straighten things out with my landlord. I also need to update the boys on my new address so they know where to take my clients.


> 11 ) When are u planning to leave the house ?

Within about a month and a half.


> How many Months Deposit are you willing to pay upfront?$1,500/month
> Security deposit fee is $1,500

I think I can put down the security deposit in addition to the first 5 months, right away. I would want to make sure that I get the keys and documents as soon as you receive my payment. Would a money order or wire transfer work for you? Please tell me who to make it out to and where to send it.

Thank you so much! I can't wait to move in!

- Ken

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